i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize