Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
