Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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