I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
