You're so nebulous sometimes
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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