she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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