That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
