STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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