At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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