You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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