its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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