im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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