I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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