we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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