The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
