Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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