I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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