I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
