I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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