i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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