We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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