My hair reeks of homosexuality.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
