If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
