can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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