How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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