Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
