chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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