I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize