should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
