there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
