so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
