he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
