help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I met the friendliest cop last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
