Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
