i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
