Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
