I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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