flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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