Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
