I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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