Pappa wants mamma naked
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
