just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No subtext here. People are naked.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
