If that was your dad, he is hot
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
