I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny