The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
