some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
