Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she looked like the before picture.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
