You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize