put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
