D3 body, D1 cock
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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