Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
