She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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