dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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