I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
