their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
