going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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