CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
