My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
