the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
