Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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