to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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