you guys were way drunker than both of me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
