I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
